The spread made me happy. As happy and optimistic as you get once you read something and almost fall over laughing. One of the cartons had one man complementing another man, “You fixed your on computer? You’re so smart. That’s impressive.”

I tried to picture any of the men that I know saying this to another man and failed. Even on an off day; where the rains have falls for 30 days and 30 nights and there needed to be some politeness extended from one man to another; I couldn’t see this level of politeness being ascertained in any normal setting with normal testosterone infested men.

It was so amusing in the way it was so farfetched. I believe the chances of a man telling another man all that were zero to none to be honest because men live on being men.

Having that ‘man’ title and the near-Neanderthal type behaviour to go with it completes the package. Scratch, spit and surmount but never ever, be polite while doing it or at any point therein. Another carton said, “Hello, lovely gentlemen” as a greeting from one man to another.

I believe that by placing that ‘lovely’ before gentlemen, a man guarantees his alienation from other men almost instantly. My favourite said, “Hey, man you look cute! You should smile more” and this was the icing on the cake.

I tested this on a few male friends and asked if they could ever say something like this to another man. All of them said no and questioned my motives for even suggesting it. Most of the time a near-complement afforded from one man to another will end with a ‘bro’ to establish boundaries and guard sexuality and all that jazz.

But I couldn’t help but imagine a world where men were polite to each other despite what they were doing to each other. “Hey, you’re a nice guy and everything but let me talk to your wife.”

“Hello lovely gentlemen of this great area, I’m taking over as your ruler.” “You look really nice in this Lamborghini but I’ll be taking it now.” “That’s a nice suit colour on you because it makes your eyes look nice but you have to give me your wallet, watch and expensive looking thing you’re wearing now.”

Twitter: @ambylusekelo