Columnists More in this Category! My name is Fisadi Jones Lusekelo Adam Daily News; Sunday,August 03, 2008 @00:06 Also in the News ‘Reform the Constitution: Leave our ex-presidents in peace please!’ Selling their own mothers Lead poisoning can damage the brain, nerves and red blood cells Noise leads birds to unfaithfulness Equality? What equality? Blame PM's spin masters not Mr Pinda Why Robert Mugabe regime must go now Licensed to be a witch? Building a livable city: Further components Dawasco and Aga Khan - welcome the shorebirds back I hear that chicks like to be lied to. Men must always pretend to be what they are not and women secretly treat men as walking wallets, or walking ATMs. That suits me fine. I have tended to be quite picky with the other tribe. The moment you exchange eyes with a chick you start getting all those visions of HIV, herpes and other scary sexual transmitted diseases. I am sure they feel the same. Hardly helpful to one's libido. But one day I got caught. She was extra something. Different. Not someone just x-raying my pockets. She was a real woman! So I started presenting my credentials which were non-starters. But then one never knows if women will bite the bait or not. "Hi baby. How are you doing?" "I am not your baby. My name is not baby. I am Moreen and you may sit down." She said. I sat down wondering whether she was a member of TAMWA or something. "Thanks, Moreen" I said and introduced myself; "My name is Jones and my father...'' ''Jones who?" "Okay my real name is Fisadi Jones." I glared at her to see if anything registers in her mind. It did. "Have you anything to do with..." "Exactly. But I don't have anything to do with EPA. I am small pie. I just took 4 billion only and that did not warrant any attentions from Saidi Mwema, Johnson Mwanyika and others. So what I want to do is lie very low until the noises from the press die down. Then I am looking for a partner to live a quiet life." I lied. Suddenly Moreen was being interested "So you stole from..." "I did not steal from anybody. Just that my uncle sent me to the BoT and suddenly, like a miracle, there was 4 billion in my account. I believe in miracles, you know." I said. "Who's your uncle?" she asked. I gave her the name of a personage of high consequence in government and the ruling party. "But Moreen, you have to swear not to reveal this to anybody. Don't tell anybody that I have 4 billion in my bank accounts." She nodded and now she was looking at me like a prize bull. "But what are you going to do with all that money? You could get arrested, you know." She was a bit worried now. "C'mon Mo. They arrest the poor guys. My 'vijisenti' will draw the eye of anybody. Why do you think nobody has been arrested? It is simply because everybody called anything in government is neck deep in the take. I am small fish." I said confidently. "Oh you are so funny, Jones." She cooed. "You want a brand new Rav4?" I asked her. "Darling!....." she gushed. See? It pays to steal in Tanzania! Mbwene2@yahoo.com View Visitor's comments on this Story   COMMENTS ON THE STORY Name: Nargis, Kassam Comment: Come on Adam! It pays to steal in Tanzania? Mmm.....you're so outdated. Where have you been? Why lie to poor Morren? A brand new Rav4 what is that going to do? You steal and become co-president and an adviser, that way you can always run the show you know what I mean. Just hire a couple of thugs and they will do the job no fooling. And if anyone complains, just blackmail the big shots you have plenty on them. Morren would you be interested in becoming part of the president's entourage? That is a great job. I understand there is plenty of vijisenti, the qualifcations are simple, learn how to be a thug by bullying other women everytime the president is touring abroad. The trick is not be afraid of secret service folks or the president's people, they know you're doing your job. Mmm... Adam maybe you're right it pays to steal in Tanzania! Name: ernest, gustav Comment: goodmorning bro!i like your article.It is very true that most of our chicks in tz put money first and this has led to further transmission of the hiv/aids,cause those who haves use this weakness to use them!!I think women should be educated more especially in changing their views toward kuchuna,forexample by establishing programs in television stations on how to be small entrepreneurs.good day n nice work! Name: Nico, Magafu Comment: Now this is too much. Doesn't Daily News have other columnists except this punk alone? Do me a favour. Find another columnist with a new serious approach. Thanks Name: sanya, chini Comment: Keep it up Adamz,if somebody who is nobody doesn't dig the kinda shit that you alwayz write let him piss off!He must have lost his way.Mebbe looking for some other dig found in the OLD TESTAMENT!Wish him luck in this Country For No Old Men! Name: sanya, chini Comment: Keep it up Adamz,if somebody who is nobody doesn't dig the kinda shit that you alwayz write let him piss off!He must have lost his way.Mebbe looking for some other dig found in the OLD TESTAMENT!Wish him luck in this Country For No Old Men! Name: Fisadi, Jones Comment: I see some have a sense of humour, and some don't ... If you don't like this story, kajitundike ... coz you possibly are one of dem, and are costing this planet more than u should. Kudos Adam.   Comment on the story Please Send us your comments or views on the story above First Name: Last name: Email: Country Comment: